fat day.

My workout habits this week so far:

30 day shred:
Okay well I've actually been sticking through the 30 day shred still.  Tonight I finished day 4.  The hardest part about the dvd's is actually doing them.  I mean they kick my ass every time I do it, they're not easy, but after work I never feel like actually putting in the dvd but after I do I feel great that I did.  I'm not sure if that makes any sense.  I'm determined to do it for the full 30 days straight though before my surgery which is only 40 some days away so now is the perfect time!  Since I've started I can definately tell I'm getting stronger and improving my endurance.  The first time I did it I had to take many many breaks and tonight I think I only took two.  For some reason the "jump rope" part is giving me shin splints.  They kill but I'm trying to work thru them for 26 more days.  Every day that I've stepped on the scale since I started the number has gone down as well.  This morning when I stepped on the scale, which they claim to be the most accurate time of day, I weighed 206.6.  I know that that is still a lot but actually seeing the scale go down at all is exciting and inspiriing.  I'm really starting to believe I can get down to 200 by March 9th.  The number on the scale isn't that big of a deal to me usually but the fact that my insurance is covering the surgery I feel I need to weigh what they think I weigh.  And when I got on the scale again tonight it said 210 but that's still better than the numbers I was seeing at night!

gym time:
This week I have been horrible with the gym.  I went Monday and literally just stayed for zumba.  The gym used to be one of my favorite places on earth when I was smaller.  I feel that I need to get back to that place of thinking/feeling.  I used to get up to go every morning even if it had to be a ridiculously early time before I started my day.  I want to get there again.  I usually feel great after exercising.  Part of the reason I haven't gone this week is because of the weather.  I'm definitely ready for winter to end.   Tuesday into Wednesday it snowed a little bit, then I had to wait for the heater man to come (who didn't show) and then worked 11-3 at one job and 4-630 at the other, they sent me home because of the bad weather starting again.  Today I woke up to over 12 inches of snow and another 11-3 then 4-8 work day so it made it a little impossible.  They're calling for snow again over the weekend but I can't go to the gym Saturday or Sundays because I work when they're open so tomorrow I am going to (try my hardest) to get up for spin at 6-7 then maybe do another half hour of cardio and then come home and do the dvd. 

my eating habits....

My eating habits this week have been awful.  I'm not really sure why I have just had no self control and given into all of my cravings.  Today my weakness was garlic knots (I work part time at a pizzeria and ate 6 decent sized ones today).  I wish I could say that was the only unhealthy thing I ate.  I also ate 2 cookies and 3 "fun sized" peices of candy.  Thinking back to it I'm extremely mad at myself that I didn't resist.  That food did absolutely nothing for me except make my breath smell and wish that I had not eaten them.  I really need to learn control.  When the stuff is infront of me and it's slow at work it's so hard.  Tomorrow I'm going to start trying to think the same way I think before I buy a big purchase: "Do I need this?  If I anwser yes then, why do I need this?  How will eating this make me feel?" I'm hoping that will help me.  I really feel that if I could change my eating habits I could loose the lbs I need to before surgery and it will help me after surgery when I cannot exercise for a few weeks.  I might also start writing down everything I eat again in a notebook.  I did that for a few days but it was extremely inconvienent but in a way helped. 

Overall...

Overall I kind of just feel like today is a fat day.  I think it's because of the mixture of the weather and my eating habits today.  I'm really hoping that tomorrow I can be strong and feel a lot better.  I don't know if this is normal but after a hard workout that includes strength training I almost feel like my muscles are swollen or something.  I definitely feel bigger.  I'm going to have to google that tomorrow and see if that actually happens.  If it does I would feel much better about myself right now! Welllll it's bed time so I can hopefully get up and spin my butt off tomorrow :)