Jeans.

I started gaining the weight in the summer of 2008. I moved to upstate ny to work for the summer and started to pack in pounds. I was drinking a lot of beer and eating horribly. That's when my weight started to spiral out of control. When I left for ny in may I was around 165 by the end of June I remember being around 180 and thought I looked pregnant. By the end of the summer/beginning of the school year I was close to 200. I remember buying a size of 12 jeans from express that were tight but I promised myself I'd fit into them. By that christmas I did hit 200 and since January 1 2009 I have not been under 200 lbs.

That winter into summer and beyond I started hanging out with a new group of people and going out every weekend. But I'd refuse to wear jeans, hell at that point I didn't even know what jean size I wore because I only wore leggings. By the start of the following school year I was snuggly in a size 16, but only wore jeans when I HAD to, and only owned one pair. I reached the upper 220s at my heaviest weight.

Now I'm fluctuating between 200-210. Those size 12 jeans I can now get up, for awhile I couldn't get them past my thighs, and I can button and zip them with a lot hanging over, but better than nothing. I'm seeing them as my goal jeans now, and I really want to wear them December 16. Maybe an unrealistic goal - but that's what I'm shooting for!

There wasn't a real purpose in this post, just kind of venting.